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刘会昌(2/2)

誓不与贼俱生。自念力难歼敌,必得卿大夫同心戮力,毁家募士,树义旗北向。因遍叩群公门告之,莫有应者。然彷徨欷歔,誓从先帝九原,为厉鬼杀贼。五月午日,过友人家,见几供葵榴,愀然不乐,复蒲酒相劝,公怒掷杯于地。厉声曰:今何时哉!我辈读圣贤书,明大义,腼颜旦夕,已非所安,犹燕乐如平日乎?拂衣竟。于时室,相率挈妻,携辎重,窜避湖山间。公是日历走其家骂之。初九,诸生聚哭明堂,缙绅孝廉,或至或否,或缟素,或常服,甚至有张盖者。众群谇且詈,公乘杖躃踊,哭泣尽哀。十一,诸生犹哭临,御史某来谒文庙,鼓乐导从吉服而,公望见大骇,率诸习礼者,趋而前,褫其袍带,责以大义。御史惶悚谢罪去。南都以是月初三即监国位,遣使布告天下,顾自三月十九,先帝宾天,至五月十二,已逾五句,朝廷尚未发丧。公叹曰:吾本草莽臣,既与诸生私哭学,心已尽,可遄死矣。乃题诗曰:正想捐躯报圣君,岂期灵日堕妖氛。忠魂誓向天门哭,立乞神兵扫贼群。至夜自缢。家人力救得不死。及旦,密往福济观真武庙,暗室投缳,羽士陆某,闻屋中有声,亟解之,问其里氏不对,固留之,不可从。送还,又力却之。独步阊关,临河而叹,谓城市浊,不足投吾躯,且人多必见阻,遂折而南。至胥门,见河广,曰此胥江也。吾其毕命于此,与伍相国忠魂上下怒涛乎?遂跃而,适潞藩泊舟江,遥望见,遣人驰救,复不死。王召公问故,时公遍写“崇祯圣上”四字,宛转哀号,告王以情。且言君仇不可不报,京师不可不复,逆寇不可不诛,臣不可不死,吾之为此,非恶生也,特以愧今之其禄而不能死其难者。王大义之,旁观者如堵。适友丁钺武至,挟归,家人知其事,咸固守之,伺间死,不得。益怒甚,遂昼夜号叫,绝粒,劝之不受。但饮杯酒。曰:聊以浇吾礧块也。五月十九日,语以哀诏至,就中北面向,叩天哭失声,遂绝饮,并不复言人间事、及后计。有解者曰:公何自苦。公张目曰:圣天如此惨逝,吾何忍下咽!二十八日,馁甚作呕,授一绝云:半生磨砺竟成空,国破君亡值中。一个书生难杀贼,愿为厉鬼效微忠。六月朔,胃枯呕尽,继之以血,亲知以淡饮劝,怒而大呼曰:汝等吾偷生耶?竟嚼烂肤。初二日,血又尽矣,甚,吐寸余。初三日申时,向空三呼先皇帝,嗔目浩叹而逝。时年盖五十有一也。同人邱民瞻辈为之治棺殓,私谥曰潜忠先生。一时会吊者几数千人,著书六卷,授丁钺武。南京赠公以翰林院五经博士,与汤文琼并祀旌忠祠。

代皇帝逊国,无位自沈者,有东湖樵夫,史逸其名,然安知非通侯重臣,变姓易字虑祸及宗族,故以死灭迹,未必真书生殉国,如许公也。唐禄山之变,甄济引颈待刃;宋德佑之亡,大学诸生徐应瀌举宅自焚;庶几与公颉顽。夫济不死臣禄山,应瀌不死,亦将就易姓之禄,岂若南都定鼎,正朔如故,公尤可以无死哉;然则公与汤公,真今古独绝矣。

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